Ta notka jest dostępna także w: Polish

Some time ago I bought a new TV. I thought it would be nice to be able to watch movies or pictures on a large screen without having to buy an external player. Seriously, I thought, digital photography makes sense only if you have a decent screen to show pics on. Silly me.

Linking my new TV (Samsung LE40A656) and my computer (homebrew with Nvidia 9600 GT) seemed easy. But as we all know appearances might be deceptive. What follows is an instruction on how to spend three months trying to make the two work together. I promise, there’s space for some tits in this post as well.

HDMI male connector (fot. D-Kuru/CC-by-SA-3.0)

So, according to the TVs instruction (ca. 1000 pages) one should simply connect the computer with a DVI-HDMI cable. Easy, huh? So I spent several days (and a considerable sum of money) trying to find a decent cable long enough to connect the two. Finally I found one, got back home, connected the set and… there was no sound. The video card transmitted the graphics just fine, but there was no sound whatsoever.

Walking a cable

Silly me, I thought, HDMI cable transmits sound just fine, but my card has DVI slots and these don’t (well, actually they do, but it’s a completely different story). So I started to harass my IT guys asking what to do. It turned out that the best idea would be to buy an additional cable, to transmit sound. The easiest solution to my problems (and the most often suggested) was a simple jack-2xcinch cable. Old as the hills, the jack plugs have been in use for “at least 100 years”. They patented it in 19th century as a connector for telephone operators. Same for cinch connector, it was patented in 1940s for use with turntables.

Simple, huh? Errr… WRONG! Both formats are now being phased out and buying a 10 metres long jack-cinch cable is almost impossible.It seems there’s not even a single electric strore in Warsaw able to make such a cable. So, I was left with only the expensive options (supermarkets, electronic stores, the internet). But what the heck, if you can afford a cow, you can also afford a chain for it, as my grandma used to say. So I bought such a cable. It didn’t work.

So I started calling Samsung’s helpdesk. After umpteenth call (“Sir, it has to work”, “did you plug your TV set in?”, “Are you sure your computer is turned on?”), one of the guys on the other side of the line told me that “Oh you know, there’s a mistake in the instruction, what you need is a simple jack-jack cable, that’s all”. Now that was infuriating. But I thanked the guy and bought a 10 metre long jack-to-jack cable.I plugged it in and – you guessed it. No sound.

Anyway, I lost heart now and I’m too tired to translate the entire post to English, so I’ll simply jump to the tits part. At first I wanted my TV to do wonders. Then I simply wanted it to work. It’s pretty much like in that old joke. It’s long, but has lots of zen wisdom inside.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now 40 and am looking for a girl with huge tits.